The Dublin Meerkat's Story

'You wouldn't believe the day that I've had!'
Puffed Gerry the meerkat with rage.
'I'll tell you about it if you pour me a pint,
I've a thirst that I need to assuage.'

'Right you are Gerry' said Mick with concern,
As he poured him a large glass of stout.
His tail was limp, he was missing three teeth
And clumps of his fur were ripped out.

'Now, what in God's name has happened to you?'
'Ach, I got in a fight with a lemur.
'He'll know better than trespass my garden again
As I cracked my rake over his femur.'

The Dublin Lemur's Story

'A pint of the black stuff please!' squeaked a voice,
And left the poor bartender rattled.
'Oi! I'm down here!  Now be quick if you will!'
Quoth the voice of a lemur embattled

'It's yourself there Leonard, I'm sorry I missed
Your face as you walked in the door.
Get yer erse on a stool and I'll pour you your drink
You look like you're sweeping the floor!'

'You'll have to help out Mick, I've been in the wars.
I think my leg's broke and I ache.'
'Feckin' hell, who'd do such a ting to you now?'
'A meerkat armed with a rake.'